if words could make wishes come true...
Jan. 11th, 2001 05:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iamlachesislast night was a lot of fun. and odd. went to MR - I seem to be into going more often lately - and saw the usual crowd there, and some people I havent seen in a long while. overall it was a fun night. I actually danced for the first time in almost a year (on the side cagey thing, as usual, since I'm too big a wuss to be on the floor where everyone can see me, the bars hide a lot.) I decided to go the comfort route, and just wore wide velvet pants, black shirt and my big boots. But, I had my hair up in two ponytails... I think that was the most compliments I've gotten ever at MR. It was nice, but strange. Between "certain" people trying to drive my head like a bike or a pony (SO -NOT- a ponygirl! oi!), and other people paying attention to my cleavage (ok, so the vaguely seethru shirt helped!) I felt very ...uh,,,. whats the word.. objectified? Maybe? I did like having my hair up tho. It's gotten long enough where it almost is chin length when i put it up high. I just wish he'd been there to see it. *sigh*. In any case, once we left MR, I was thinking about stuff...
I told one friend that if he needed someone to talk to, drink with, hang out with, vent to, etc, that s/he could come to me, as I'm be more than happy to see them anyway, and wanted to see more of them.
That started me thinking tho...after... all night I was walking around, saying hi to people, being flirty/joking/silly/ - having fun. For some reason tho, I felt guilty about it. Not that I shouldnt have had fun; rather that I felt like I was being really superficial, running around talking to everyone, then flitting off to go talk to someone else or dance, or whatever. I didnt feel like my friends, or the people i call friends were getting the attention they deserved, and it bothered me. It still kinda does.
I would (hope) think that any of my friends would tell me if I were acting that way, or maybe I'm just being hard on myself... but i still cant help but feel I couldve stood there longer, I couldve talked about more meaningful stuff.. I dunno.
Maybe all it is, is that I'm a big gooberhead. :)
going home now... see you all later.
I told one friend that if he needed someone to talk to, drink with, hang out with, vent to, etc, that s/he could come to me, as I'm be more than happy to see them anyway, and wanted to see more of them.
That started me thinking tho...after... all night I was walking around, saying hi to people, being flirty/joking/silly/ - having fun. For some reason tho, I felt guilty about it. Not that I shouldnt have had fun; rather that I felt like I was being really superficial, running around talking to everyone, then flitting off to go talk to someone else or dance, or whatever. I didnt feel like my friends, or the people i call friends were getting the attention they deserved, and it bothered me. It still kinda does.
I would (hope) think that any of my friends would tell me if I were acting that way, or maybe I'm just being hard on myself... but i still cant help but feel I couldve stood there longer, I couldve talked about more meaningful stuff.. I dunno.
Maybe all it is, is that I'm a big gooberhead. :)
going home now... see you all later.
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no subject
Date: 2001-01-11 05:55 pm (UTC)It's MR - it's loud, it's active, and really isn't the place to be having in depth conversations. I like going there both to spend time with people i don't get to spend enough time with during the week, but i also like going to run around, and see who all is there that I know, say the hellos and what nots, and switch again with the songs :)
maybe i'm just weird lately
--S3