Sad but true (Work joke)

[iamlachesis]

Understanting Help Wanted Ads
What we say: Competitive Salary
What we mean: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

What we say: Join our fast-paced team
What we mean: We have no time to train you.

What we say: Casual work atmosphere
What we mean: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

What we say: Must be deadline oriented
What we mean: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

What we say: Some overtime required
What we mean: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

What we say: Duties will vary
What we mean: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

What we say: Career-minded
What we mean: Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

What we say: No phone calls please
What we mean: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

What we say: Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience
What we mean: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

What we say: Requires team leadership skills
What we mean: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

What we say: Must have good communication skills
What we mean: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.