To all of you...

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends
I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
there is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

-Lennon/McCartney, "In My Life"

introspective thoughts

A recent conversation on AIM started me thinking about a few things... about how i relate to people, and how I've changed, even since just moving here.

A lot of stuff has been happening over the last few months, either to friends or myself, and since the start of a new year always seems to bring out these types of feelings in people, I suppose I shouldnt be surprised they do the same to me.

I'm really glad I'm not the same person I used to be, but now I tend to look at my past self and and wonder how I functioned. Some of the things I heard myself saying to a friend today brought back not only bad memories, but confusion. Like, "why wasnt this clear to me then" kind of things. I suppose it's all part of maturity, but one of the things I think about is why I did and do the things I do. Yeah, everyone thinks of that to a certain point, i guess.

I find it funny when people tell me they're glad I've picked up some of J's attitude - if only they saw me before... I think my problem has always been (and sometimes still is) where to draw the line between being compassionate and being a doormat. I always try to look at the other person's POV, but sometimes maybe I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt when they dont necessarily deserve it. Sometimes being singularly opinionated can be a good thing. An easy thing. I wish I could do that more often. I've been trying the 'direct approach' lately, and it -is- working, but I havent been able to tell if it's working -well- yet. Maybe I just need to be patient. Funny that I feel the saying "Patience is a virtue... seldom found in humans." really applies to me right now.

heh. since my wrist still hurts and I dont know where I'm going with this, I should take a break for now. ta.