meat induced ramblings...

I'm at work. Well, in the office I'm supposed to be doing work IN, anyway. Today has been strange, without structure.. I can hear someone's mix tape in the background in an otherwise silent office, the constant ringing in my ears (hereditary, I'm told. [why cant magic money out of my butt be hereditary!?!]), and myself typing away. I have a slight headache, and I'm not sure if it's from all the meat I've been eating lately (allergic), or the fact i finally got new contacts after ~month. It's nice not to have to feel the heaviness on my nose - I cant breathe thru it as it is, and adding the weight of glasses really hurts sometimes.

I suppose what prompted this writing (aside from the meat) is the fact that I've been looking at our little journal community, as it were. After "today's" readings, I feel even more like there's some kind of fibrous mutating technicolour noose about everything/one I know lately, and I'm getting squeezed right along with everyone else. Perhaps it's just recent pressures of my own... no, it's really not. I've been thinking about this for about a day and a half, at least in the forebrain, and it's not even that I want to babble my opinion to my darling or anyone else until my mouth falls off - I just keep trying to put it from my head and look like the cute lil goof that I seem since, for the most part (goddammit I do NOT have 'information booth' written on my forehead!!!) I get the "pat pat, it's okay that you dont understand" feeling often... more often lately. You know what? i DO get it. A lot. Often. But that's not what bothers me most of the time. MOST of the time, what bothers me is that volcano feeling waaaaaaaaaaay down in my self and everyone I know. It's ready, man. Mine's been getting closer and closer to the surface the older I get.